There is no need to feel low and sorry for yourself. If you want to put a smile back on your face take a look at these quotes about life.

“I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type. ” Bob Hope

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. ” George Burns

“The age of a woman doesn’t mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. ” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs.” Oscar Wilde

Have a read of the selection of funny quotes about life.

“In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.” Helen Rowland

“Mom & Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three.” Billie Holiday

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.” Max Kaufman

What about these funny life quotes.

“A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.” Marvin Kitman

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” Joe E. Lewis

“My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?” Henry Youngman

“The Internet is a gateway to get on the net.” Bob Dole

“My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.” Harry S. Truman

“The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they’ve been appointed and thinking they’ve been anointed.” Claude D. Pepper

“We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.” Frank McKinney Hubbard

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