by Joanne Aika Castillo

If I had to choose one comedian who can surely crack me up, it would be Woody Allen. He is by far one of the most respected directors and screenwriters in Hollywood. He is known for his award winning films like Annie Hall, Manhattan, and The Purple Rose of Cairo. Allen’s work is mostly inspired by his interests on literature, philosophy, psychoanalysis, sexuality, New York City, and the Jewish identity. Most of the time, his films always includes a Woody Allen persona: the neurotic writer living in New York City.

Why do I find him funny? My answer lies in the characteristics of Allen’s humor. His humor can be best described as wry, sarcastic, intellectual, neurotic, and self-deprecating all at the same time. As an audience, I am a fan of all these qualities. Either spoken by him or his characters, Woody Allen’s witty quotations reflects an observant manner of criticizing society. These funny quotes unmistakably echo an undeniable truth. He has long championed the brand of humor that doesn’t undermine the audiences intellect.

Here is a list of Woody Allen’s ten funny quotations. Most of the thematic concerns deal with issues on sex, marriage, literature, death, relationships, poverty, and pop culture. These funny quotes were derived from Woody Allen’s own words and some from the characters in many of his films. Allen’s witty quotes will not only make you laugh but also ponder on some of the issues raised.

Top 10 Woody Allen Funny Quotes:

1. I took the speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. Its about Russia.

2. If my films don’t show a profit, I know Im doing something right.

3. I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher. They are going to make a board game out of it.

4. In Los Angeles they don’t throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

5. Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

6. A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.

7. I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

8. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got a 100.

9. The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

10. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

For me, the funniest quotes are the top three on the list. All three quotes on literature, film, and sex exhibit that wry, ironic, and sarcastic sense of humor which defines Woody Allen. I find the speed reading quote funny because of the sheer mockery of pretentious reading. The second funny quote echoes the hilarious intellectual pride that great films don’t appeal to the masses. Finally, the third funny quote is a classic self-deprecating joke which Woody often associates with himself, that of an unattractive, nerdy, Jewish New Yorker. Ultimately, it just shows that Woody Allen’s funny quotes affirm how humor is indeed a universal language.

About the Author:
Joanne Aika Castillo is a Comparative Literature graduate, major in European Literature, from the University of the Philippines. She is the editor of a wonderful online collection of famous and inspiring quotations at Quote Summit. To read more of Woody Allens funniest lines and other funny quotations, visit Quote Summit now.
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